Sunday, November 16, 2008
hmmm... how do you place a judgement on someone? by the first impression you have of them? or do you wait til a few meetings and conversations with him before you come to a conclusion of his personality? some will say its the first impression that really counts. after all, the subsequent meet ups with him/her will most probably decrease or you'll have negative thinking on any small incidents he does just cos of the previous time. this usually ain't fair to that person cos he didn't have a chance to make up for it. but if you think in another manner, if he really cares about the friendship that you two are gonna be building up, then he will not have any old how on the first date right?
i guess this all boils down to the maturity of both parties. i decided to blog on this cos i realise that first of all, i really do care about what other thinks of me. which is why there are times when i hesitate in certain stuff which i am serious about. like for relationship wise, i always mention that im not against the age-gap between couples (jie-di lian or if the guy is much older than girl). but when i do see such cases around me, for example, june & kino, i will feel concern on how they are getting along. after all kino is just 18 this year. he has not went into NS yet and is a school dropout who hasn't have much working experience. he seems happy-go-lucky in front of us all but i know thats something within him which causes him to be this way. after chatting with him earlier, i finally know why he is the way he is. kino, be strong and jiayou. you can do it de alright?
okay. peeps reading the earlier paragraphs must be wondering what has this gotta do with me? haahaa. no la. cos thats this ex-colleague i know from my KFC days who's been pretty proactive in asking me out and stuff. fernado is younger than me by 2 years. he is studying in shatec currently plus working as a pizzahut rider and participating in events at times. he is quite hardworking guy i might say for his age. we lost contact for a couple of years after i left KFC in 2005. then by chance i bumped into him at hougang last year. so started smsing and stuff. then out of the blue he just wanna some distance after he returned from his overseas trip last dec. so be it. we left it as that. then around some time mid this year, he started chatting me up again and wanna jio me go out. after what happen the last time round, i kept my distance and keep turning him away.
came along the mr brownie incident. i cant get ack out of my mind. the best way is to switch my focus else where. anyway, so fernado and i had arranged to meet up and stuffs. but fate seems to play a trick on us. the date is set but always some stuffs will crop up and it is cancelled. still, we both keep in touch through smses. one day, he asked me why this time around i am so proactive and constant in contacting him? so i told him the truth and he said he is fine with it as he only wants a fling. so we continue the 暧昧 friendship. yesterday we met up for the first time in a year after the off-on hot-cold shoulder. it seems like i feel a thing for him. and even though he said he don't wanna a gf a few weeks back, its obvious he cares about wad i think. he calls me darling while i call him my baby. my question now is, how do one differentiate if this is a fling or for real? cos i myself also dunno. but when people ask me if i have a bf, my answer is still no. his face does come to my mind though so...?
lol. think i'm bullshiting already. cos after reading from the beginning to now here, i don't think i am making sense. one thing i'm sure though, i don't see him as a life partner. i can't imagine fernado to be one as of now. cos like kino, he hasn't went NS. who knows wad will happen? and he has a year to go after shatec and he still wanna go take up another course before reporting to NS. faint. therefore, in short, i have at least another 2 years to think through. whahaha! don't really understand why i always get myself into such weird situation when coming to love matters. the part time bf i mentioned inside my post also another one. he is attached one lol. but nothing between us larsh. we just have been addressing each other as part time since the start of our friendship. he is 29 this year and have been caring for me like he will to a little sis only. so yup. i dunno how to continue this post so i shall end here. paiseh ah. LOL!
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11:27 PM
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